LITTLE BACKPOCKET GUIDE TO

Kink & Consent
(ACT UP NY version)

ACT UP NY x The Love Tank

The world of kink and BDSM offers loads of ways to deepen the physical and emotional elements of sex, whether through restrictive ropework, sensual flogging or orgasmic denial.

Like with other activities that bring us pleasure, there can be some risk involved, but when explored with the right level of preparation, care, and knowledge, they can lead to some amazing experiences.

This guide is for anyone new to BDSM and kink, and for anyone who would like to learn more about how to navigate consent and play as safely as possible when playing.

It contains an outline of how to talk with your play partner/s about limits and desires, and also shows how to get involved in a few specific kinks with mutual pleasure and harm reduction in mind: Ropeplay and Bondage, Impact Play and Breath Control. It also covers the importance of aftercare, with some ideas on how you can bring this into your scene.

The Love Tank CIC acknowledges the community experts and BDSM practitioners that informed this booklet. Thank you to the queer people who helped to create this booklet, and to the kink community who pushed for it to be produced.

Resources

  • Social Networks

    Fetlife - One of the largest kink-focused social networking sites, with a load of resources on kink and BDSM discussions and events.

    Recon - Social networking app that also runs events for kinky people - including Fetish Week London. Dominantly focused on connecting men and masc-presenting folk.

  • Podcasts

    Off The Cuffs - Kink and BDSM-focused podcast, with a different guest each week.

    Watts The Safeword - Youtube channel and podcast, focused on sex and kink education, presented by two veteran kinksters on the scene.

    The Bed Post - Kink-friendly podcast focused on sex, sexuality and sex work.

  • Blogs and Resources

    A Kinky Autistic - Blog and resource for kinksters from an autistic perspective.

    Kynk 101 - Excellent resource with risk mitigation tips for a wide variety of kinks.

    Hit Me Up - NYC Kink + Poly Community with educational events

    NYC Kink Link - NYC Gay kink calendar

  • Venues and Events

    Rabbit Hole - A T4T event creating safe spaces for the exploration of k!nk in our community, run by Trans Folx for Trans Folx ONLY. (vetting required to attend)

    Transgression - T4T play party in NYC, by trans folks and for trans folks without the presences of cisgender norms or expectations. (vetting required to attend)

    The Eagle - a common name for leather bars in many cities. The NYC Eagle regularly hosts fetish events.

    Folsom Street Fair - Annual BDSM and leather street fair held in September in San Francisco.

    Folsom Street East - East coast offshoot of the SF event, held in NYC every June.

    Knotty New York - Rope bondage social for gay men to learn, practice, and network within the bondage world.

  • General Sexual Health

    Ready For It - Kinkster-oriented guide to vaccines and immunisation against several STIs.

    Prepster - Online resource on all things PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) related, including information on how to access and use PrEP as part of your own sexual health regime.

    Queers Beyond Borders - Resource for queer migrants moving to or across Europe, including details on housing, asylum, healthcare, sex and connections, and mental health support for several major cities.

    Queer Health - The Love Tank’s collection of sexual health and wellbeing resources, including information on safer chillouts, DoxyPEP, STIs, and safer steroid use.

  • FREE STI self-testing kits & vaccinations

    Take Me Home - Free at-home HIV tests anywhere in the US. STI tests available in IN, CA, and OR.

    Free vaccination clinics in NYC.

 

Credits

RESEARCHED, WRITTEN, AND PUBLISHED BY
The Love Tank CIC, London, UK


TEXT BY
Qaisar Siddiqui

 

ILLUSTRATIONS BY
@FetishDoodles

DESIGN BY
Richard Kahwagi

TEXT IN CONSULTATION WITH
BLKaiser, PhantomBondage,
and MikoPrints

This guide is the result of conversations and workshops from our Love Hub series, and from the lived experience of team members involved in the kink scene.

✺ Published April 2024.